Just Breathe
by baby-rose15
Summary: Collection of One Shots surrounding Castle Beckett and the family of the 12th Precinct. Runs the gammit from random fluff to episode tags
1. Hold On

**Hi Castle Fandom! How are you guys? So I've been a _Bones_ writer for a while now and I thought I'd test the castle waters. So this is going to be a collection of one shots about some of my favorite characters. First up is a series of snipets based on the promo for the up coming episode.**

**It's pretty simple I don't own any television shows Castle included.**

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><p><span>Hold On<span>

She's burning. The sound of the gunshot tearing right through the freshly heeled scar. She closes her eyes griping her side taking a deep breath trying to focus on the here and now. Not the phantom pain in her side at the mere mention of a sniper. "Kate?" His voice comes softly from beside her.

The others had gone on towards the crime scene, seemingly unaware that she'd been momentarily crippled by her own subconscious. But not him. He never misses a moment that man, every thought that flickers on her face he catches and she doesn't know if it's one of the things she loves or hates about him.

"I'm ok Castle." She opens her eyes looking into his worried ones, "The scar's just pulling in the cold."

He doesn't believe her that much is clear in his face but he lets it go. "Ok. But you'll tell me if you're not?" And it surprises her and stings a little bit that he thinks she wouldn't. But then it's really her own fault. She didn't call him for three months and she still hasn't told him she knows what he said. Because of that he's not sure what he can trust when it comes to her.

It doesn't stop her from just nodding and moving on to the crime scene staunchly ignoring the phantom tearing she feels in her side. If she just ignores it, it will go away.

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><p>The noise jolts her from the trance she'd fallen into staring at the paper work spread out across her coffee table. Gun fire. Frozen for just a second before she's flying into action. Yanking the curtains closed as fast as possible with on hand the other clutching at her side trying to staunch the blood flow.<p>

For hours she huddled in a corner clutching her gun with her right hand, her left holding together the gaping hole in her side where it felt like everything was pouring out. She staved off tears out of fear that they would cloud her vision.

The ring tone he'd programmed in her phone for when she'd been doing paperwork. It was some obnoxious whistling and normally it made her smile. In that moment it caused her to freeze briefly breaking the tension she'd built up in her head. Unfolding herself from the corner she took a deep breath, coming back to herself pushing her hair back out of the way. "Beckett." She managed to answer.

There was a cautious pause on the other end, "You okay?"

"What's up Castle?" She asks instilling as much authority into her voice as she can after a night huddled in a corner afraid of ghosts.

The caution is still there, "The boys came up with some leads."

She's silent as she looks around the apartment and the horror of the scene when she'd hidden in fear. "I'll be in 20."

"Kate." It wasn't really a question. "Tell me?"

She sighed desperately wishing she could tell herself what was wrong. "Twenty minutes." She deflected.

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><p>She was drowning. That had to be it. Why else couldn't she breathe? The world was closing in around her. Her vision tunneling on her as she took sharp shallow breaths. Tears were running down her cheeks as she collapsed. Her side felt like was ripped open again and no one was there to save her.<p>

Nothing had triggered it. A fleeting thought of her mother and suddenly her life was being drained from her. Her insides literally on display for everyone as she collapsed with the force of the bullet.

The sobs shook her and there was no end in sight as she sat there on the floor holding what she believed to be pieces of her body together. She didn't hear his panic cries when he came round the corner, "Beckett! Kate!" All she could hear were the screams of the cemetery behind his declaration, which kept looping in her head. But she couldn't return the word because she was dead. She'd been shot.

She didn't notice the arms lifting her off the ground wrapping around her collapsed shaking frame, to carry her inside the room. She was bleeding and couldn't do anything about it.

"Kate you're ok. They got him. I'm right here. Nothing's going to happen to you. You're safe. Take deep breaths. Focus on me. You're here. You're alive." He kept muttering above her head just loud enough for her to hear. At first blending into the sound of sirens in the distance and the screams of the cemetery.

But slowly they cut into her mental state chipping away at the terror and pain that had gripped her.

Slowly she came back to herself even though she couldn't stop the sobbing. He was holding her on his lap arms around her holding her together. She'd buried her head into his neck, her fingers wrapping into the soft flannel shirt he was wearing.

She focused on his words, "You're safe. Deep breaths. Focus on me. You're here. You're alive. Kate you're ok. They got him. I'm right here. Nothing's going to happen to you." She focused on the fact that he was solid and warm against her. She focused on the fact that he was there. That he was still there. He must have been holding her for hours. Giving her an anchor to reality.

As her sobs slowed, he grew quieter his reassurances coming more sporadically. But he never let her go he just held on waiting for her to be ready.

"Castle," her voice was hoarse when she finally used it.

"I'm right here."

"Thank you." She whispered not moving.

He didn't move either, "Always." And he just sat there holding her; he didn't ask any questions and didn't talk to her. He just held on.

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><p><strong>Well what did you think? Please let me know.<strong>

**Babyrose  
><strong>


	2. Undefined

**Hmm... so this is me trying to work through writers block just generally I'm not really sure how it turn out but the end of _Cops and Robbers_ left so much room for potential that I thought I'd start there and see what my mind came up with.**

**Castle isn't mine.**

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><p><span>Undefined<span>

The wine had been really good, I reflected spinning the now empty glass by its stem between my fingers. But so had the incredible array of food and the company. The company had probably been the best part sitting across from Castle as he, Martha recounted the tales of inside the bank, and then they devolved in stories from Castle's youth. Alexis recounting a series of Halloween costumes that he wore to take her trick or treating as a kid.

Before I even noticed Martha was standing up announcing the dishes could wait for when she was dead. Alexis rolled her eyes at this and scooped up the dishes offering to do them before she went to finish her homework. Leaving Castle and I quietly looking across the table at each other. I could feel the smile on my face, and I couldn't make it go away.

"Can I interest you in another glass of wine, Detective Beckett?" he finally asked wiggling his eyebrows.

I laughed, "I'm ok Castle."

"Coffee? Desert? Cheesecake? We have homemade cookies."

Another giggle bubbled up, "I'm really ok Castle. Thank you for dinner though it was wonderful, but I think that I should head home."

He called my bluff, getting up and going over to the cookie jar scooping it up. "What are you going to do? Go home and read _Nikki Heat_? Why do that when you can hang out with me?" He said heading over to the couch. "Come on we'll celebrate being alive by eating cookies and watching a movie."

"I don't think I'll make it through a movie. I exhausted from all that saving business," I told him honestly flowing him over to the couch, "But I can always stay for a few cookies."

"Well we'll start a movie and when we don't finish it you'll have an excuse to come back and finish it some other time." He told me flopping down on the couch motioning for me to join him, "They're chocolate chip."

"Castle," I laughed settling next to him, "I'm already staying. So what are we watching?"

He clearly hadn't thought that far ahead cause his face went blank for a second before he grinned, "Why don't you pick I'm going to get us glasses of milk. You can't have cookies without milk." He leapt back up from the couch heading back to the kitchen leaving me to my own defenses with his vast movie collection.

Standing back up I opened the cabinets I knew to be hiding the massive collection, running my fingers across the spines of the TV on DVD, the classics, the murder mysteries, the romantic comedies, the sci fi flicks. Only he would have them organized by genre and then by title. "Did you find something?"

"I believe I did." I told him grabbing one from the self and moving over the blu-ray player sliding the disk in.

"Are you doing to tell me what it is?" He asked sitting back down as he used the remotes to fire up the sound system and the television screen.

"Nope." I told him flopping down on the couch reaching to grab a cookie and the glass of milk he'd brought me.

But sure enough when the menu finally came up he grinned, "Excellent choice Detective Beckett."

"Plus I've already seen it so when I fall asleep I won't be missing anything." I shrugged.

He looked at me curiously for just a second, "Well if you're planning on falling asleep on my couch we should probably get you a blanket."

"I'm not planning on staying here but I really don't know how long I'll be able to keep my eyes open."

"We don't' really have to watch a movie. If you'd rather you can go home."

I smiled at his endearing worry, "Start the movie. I'll be fine." I told him taking a bite of my cookie and pulling a blanket across my lap. He smiled now and hit the play button as he relaxed back into the couch one arm swinging to rest on the back of the couch behind me as he took a bite out of a cookie.

The opening scenes started to play and we both lost ourselves in the film at least I thought we did but the next thing I knew I was been gently shaken awake, "Kate." His warm hand wrapped around my shoulder gently shaking me, "Come on Kate. I think you should go home."

I yawned, and blinked sleepily. "Sorry."

"I called you a cab," stood up right extending his hands to pull me upright.

Gratefully I took his hands allowing him to pull me upright. Shocked at how close we were once I was upright. Recovering myself quickly I smiled and focused on his eyes, "Thank you Castle."

"It was the least I could do for the hostage negotiator." He smiled softly lifting a hand to… well I don't know because he seemed to think better of the movement and dropped it again. Leaving us just standing there, slightly too close, but in an undefined distance. To close to be platonic, to far to go further.

So impulsively, I changed the status quo stretching up on my toes I brushed a kiss on his cheek resting my right hand on his shoulder, just long enough to squeeze before turning to get my coat. "Thanks for dinner and the cookies Castle." I scooped up my coat turning around to see him looking a little shell-shocked. "See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." He repeated shaking his head.

I turned for the door smiling to myself liking that I could keep him on his toes, even after all this time.

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><p><strong>Your thoughts would be much appreciated.<strong>

**Babyrose**


	3. Changing Names

**Just a few thoughts on how your name changes with your rather than defines you. It was a prompt that I was given and it stuck.**

**Castles not mine I'm just borrowing it play from time to time.**

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><p><span>Changing Names<span>

Katie. It was what my mom called me when I was little. My dad still does most the time. Katie it was soft and quiet so appropriate for a little girl with pig tails with dreams of growing up to be a princess. Still appropriate in middle school when chiding me to do my chores. "I love you, Katie." I can hear it echoing in my head sometimes when I think of her.

After she was murdered Dad was the only one that used it. And I kept it that way. For a long time it stung to hear him say it. For a long time he was saying in a drunken slur. When he sobered up, i don't know if it was that enough time had passed or that it was such a relief to hear it from his sober mind. But now he's the only one and I like it that way.

Katherine Beckett is my full name and it's always felt a little formal. A little stuffy. And mostly like I was in trouble when I heard it. So I've always just gone by Kate, Kate Beckett. It has a good ring to it. As Castle would say good consonance.

Kate was always such an appropriate name for teenager even when they come up with their own monikers. There's so many Kate's out there that for awhile I was Becks which suited me just fine. A good nickname. Not too silly something coaches and teachers could call me too, and it was from my name so all the better.

I went back to Kate in college. And I stuck with Kate after my mother died. It was a good solid name. It was simple and easy.

Then I enrolled in the academy and it was Officer Beckett. It has a nice ring to it right. Officer Beckett. It has a sense of authority and rolls of the tongue with a sense of urgency when needed. I clung to that title. It was shield while I crawled into my mother's case and hide there. I was just doing my job. I was an officer of the law investigating a case, that's what I was supposed to do.

It was too long before I realized that I was hiding behind it and using it as an excuse to let my mother's case eat me alive. I took waking up in the hospital because I'd collapse from exhaustion and the threat of losing my job that forced me to change. To get help and to put my mothers case in a box and walk away. She gave me the drive to be a cop, the purpose to give people the answers that I never got. And I would have to be content with out those answers if I wanted to do that.

So I gave up and focused on the next name change I wanted so badly, Detective Beckett. I put everything I had into getting the title change. I stayed late, offered to do the grunt work that no one wants to do, shadowed detectives on my days off, studied for the test and spent a lot of hours on the shooting range perfecting my aim.

I was rewarded with the shiny new badge and the important new title and the new name, Detective Kate Beckett, at twenty-four. I was able to establish my self with a new job and a new name separate from the rabbit hole. I closed cases and climbed the ladder. I got my own team. I was Detective Kate Beckett of the NYPD.

Then I got the call on a strange case. The body was covered in rose petals with sunflowers on the eyes, straight out of _Flowers for you Grave_. And for that I got Nikki Heat, my fictional alter ego created by my favorite author and officially the biggest pain in my ass.

Nikki Heat isn't really so bad, other than her name which was terrible. But she brought into my life this charismatic creative, inventive, silly, caring man into my life. And as much as he grated on my nerves and came up with crazy theories he wormed his way into my life. He became my partner, and eventually I got over the question, "So you're the real life Nikki Heat?"

Some one once told me that your name is just something that grows and changes with you and until today I'd never really stopped and thought about it but now's the first time I'm changing the last part of the name. I'll still be Detective Beckett but after today I'll be Kate Castle.

When he finally asked it was a little silly and goofy just like he is, and it made me smile because I'd known that he was planning some sort of extravagant ridiculous way and instead it just kind of fell out of his mouth. He looked a little stunned that he'd asked and then scared that I would freak out so he just froze looking at me. I couldn't help myself, I laughed.

Fortunately he took it as a good sign because he grinned, "So that's a yes?" I could only nod as he grabbed me and kissed me. "I have a ring. Hold on! I have a ring." He yelled running down the hall to our bedroom. And when came back he got down on one knee and asked, "Will you do me the honor of being my wife and becoming Katherine Castle?"

So as of today I am, Detective Kate Beckett and Katherine Castle, and it's never felt more perfect.

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><p><strong>So some of you probably won't agree with her changing her name but as much as I love Kate Beckett there is something lovely about Katherine Castle that could be separate from the Detective side we love.<strong>

**Thoughts**

**Babyrose**


	4. Frozen Heat

__**Hello! So I've been re-watching season 2 and I read about what Andrew Marlowe about the end of season four and brain came up with this. Spoilers for _Heat Rises _if you haven't read it (or gone to barnes and noble to read the end after _Rise_ like I did) then I'm sorry. I'm kinda in love with this idea for the end of the season particularly the way things having been going so I would really appreciate your thoughts on this.**

**Castle isn't mine except to obsess over and borrow from time to time to play with.**

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><p><em><span>Frozen<span> Heat_

It was a quiet day at the precinct. Just paperwork, so there was no Castle. He'd called earlier in the morning just to check in. Making sure there wasn't something interesting before he left me to the boring paperwork with promises of calling should anything happening. Which is why I was surprised when his shadow fell over my desk just before lunch that morning. The boys were in court and the Captain was in her office, probably cross checking our compliance with regulations.

"So here it is..." He laid the manuscript box on my desk, "the final Nikki Heat novel." He told me taking a seat in his chair.

That surprised me, "They haven't extended the contract?" They'd given him an additional three books after the first Nikki Heat had been released. I guess I hadn't really put it together that when he finished this one it would be the last one. Which would mean that it was the end of our partnership. An unreasonable knot formed in my stomach at the thought.

"Not yet." He shrugged casually, but I could see he was bothered by the fact that they hadn't. "I think they're waiting to see what I did with Detective Heat. They're afraid I killed her off or permanently broke her and Rook up." He said patting the manuscript softly.

"Well did you?"

He smiled in that cheeky charming way he has, "You're just going to have to read and find out," and then pushed the box of unbound pages towards me.

"Seriously?" my fingers shaking a little bit as I reached for it. He'd never let me read them before they at least had the prototype binding on them.

"I figured that as the inspiration for Detective Heat you should read what could very well be the penultimate chapter first..." He said causally, "After Alexis, but she's responsible for proof reading."

We'd come a long way from me demanding to be able to read the first one as the inspiration, "Thank you." I told him softly in disbelief.

We sat in silence for a few moments before he tapped the table lightly, "Well let me know what you think." He stood up. "I'll leave you to it Detective."

"Have a good afternoon, Castle." I told him opening the box to look down at the unbound pages with the simple title typed across the middle of the page, _Frozen Heat._

I glanced up just in time to see the elevator doors close on his whistling figure, giving him a small smile before I set the manuscript aside and went back to my paper work, glancing at it every few minutes before I gave up, and called it quits for the day.

Packing up quietly I slid the box of unbound pages into my purse I stole out of the precinct hoping it would be a while before Gates noticed that I hadn't stayed late as usual.

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><p>I flipped over the last page staring at the blank side of the paper in disbelief. Before I knew it I was pounding on the door of the loft. The door opened and there was disheveled Castle looking surprised to see me.<p>

"They get married?" I asked incredulously, sweeping into the loft carrying the box with the unbound pages to the counter.

"You already finished?" He asked surprised following me into the kitchen.

I wheeled around to look at him, "Heat and Rook you got them married?

"Did you like it?" He didn't answer.

"You got them married?" I just started at him waiting for an answer.

"Yes I did." He finally answered, "Can I get you something to drink?" He moved around the counter towards the fridge.

"Why'd you do that?" Knowing that I was the only one that probably could get an answer and I was the only one that was owed an answer.

He shrugged pulling a bottle of wine from the fridge, and two glasses form the cabinet, "It seemed like the right thing to do." He popped the cork, "It made for a final ending but nothing that can't be over come if the series is extended. Just a different dynamic."

Taking the offered glass, I tried to wrap my head around the idea, "At the end of the last book you had Rook lying in a hospital bed in a coma after being shot and somehow between the end of that one and the end of this one they're married happily ever after?"

"Happily ever after takes work too." He challenged.

"But what happened?" I kept pressing.

He pushed back, "Well if you read the whole book then you'll know what happened."

"I…" I didn't really know what to say so I just took a sip giving myself a second to gather my thoughts, "I did read it."

"Well?" He leaned across the counter wiggling his eyebrows, instantly lightening the mood.

I smiled, "You tell anyone I said this…"

"You'll kill me. I know. What did you think?" he waved his free hand encouraging me to continue as he came around this sit on the bar stool next to me.

"It was your best one yet." I confessed.

"Really?" His face did that adorable thing where he's not quite sure he believes the words I've said.

"Really." I smiled

He looked at me for just a moment, contemplating, "So what's with the reaction to the end?" he finally asked looking down at his wine glass gentling spinning it between his fingers.

He caught me off guard with that one, "I… I… Castle you married the characters based on me and you," I stuttered.

He calmly took a swig from his glass turning on the stool to look straight at me. His knees brushing with mine. "They've been in and out of a relationship since the beginning of the series. And given how this one worked out it was a logical progression of their relationship. Just because they're inspired by you and I doesn't mean that they're not fictional characters. I'm surprised at you Beckett you've always been the one denying that they have anything to do with us."

I didn't answer. I looked down at my wine glass spinning it sloshing the red liquid up the sides. I took a deep breath and tried, "Castle… Rick… I just…I…" but nothing was coming out.

He didn't let me go on though; instead, he wrapped a warm hand around my arm. "It's OK Kate." He told me softly holding my gaze.

It seems like hours that his palm burned through the sleeves of my shirt, and his eyes bored into mine.

Eventually it felt like enough and so I cleared my throat and polished off the last of my wine. "So this is the last book?"

He pulled his arm back and cleared his throat with a little smile, "Unless they extend the contract yeah." He got up collecting the wine glasses and taking them to the sink before coming back to lean against the counter this time a little bit further from me.

"So does this mean that you're going to stop following me around?" I joked.

Still serious, "I really don't think that Captain Gates is going to let me follow you around if there's no real reason other than you like having me around. Even if she has come to tolerate my presence." He sighed.

I gasped in protest, "I don't like having you around."

"Yes, you do you've told me more than once." He grinned sillily.

"OK I like having you around." I grinned back, and then tried to justify it, "You're my partner. I like our working dynamic."

"Well if they don't go for more Heat novels then I'm going to have a hard time convincing Gates that I should keep following you around." He confessed.

"I don't like that." Tumbled from my lips before I could stop it.

"Me neither." He responded, giving me no time to worry about it.

We just looked at each other for a few minutes the silence growing louder with each second. It was time to face the music so I confessed, "I like having you in my life Rick. Nikki Heat or no Nikki Heat."

His grin could have lit the city up, "Well that's good because you're stuck with me."

"Yeah?" I couldn't help but wonder what I did to end up with him in my life.

"Yeah." He nodded calmly, "So what do we do now?"

I watched him, knowing he was studying me waiting for me to make the decision for the both of us. He's been so patient waiting while I worked through my own issues never pushing or asking for more. Just always being there. It's a secret that's been weighing on my mind for months at first it was a fear that I wasn't ready for everything that those words offered, but later as I started to work through it I didn't want to confess to him that I lied. I'd never kept a secret from him except for this one, and this one was huge. By just acknowledging, it would drastically change our relationship.

I looked up at him and swallowed, "I heard you... On that day... I remember."

He smiled wryly, shaking his head softly, "I know."

I was shocked, "You do?"

"You're not the only one with detecting skills." He tried to lighten the conversation just a little bit. And I feel for him. He knew that I heard him and he never pushed it, he would only ask from time to time and always would just ask never push the answer.

"You're not mad?" I had to ask.

He sighed and ran a restless hand through his already rumbled hair. "I am. I was. I..." he paused trying to gather his thoughts, "Kate I watched you die. I saw the glint of the sniper rifle a second too late. If I'd seen it a second earlier, you wouldn't have been hit. God Kate, you died in my arms and again on the operating table. Do you know what it means to me to see you alive and breathing everyday in the precinct? Just to see you standing at the murder board throwing out theories, it makes me so happy. You were gone for the whole summer and you didn't call. It drove me crazy not knowing what was going through your head, if you were coming back, if you were ever going to call me. But you came back and you wanted me around I was just so relieved." He stopped looking at me calmly and probably as serious as I'd ever seen him. "As long as you're in my life Kate, I decided it didn't matter. I figured you'd tell me in your own time. When you were ready."

He'd left me stunned. I didn't know what to do with it. I wanted to give him everything he was asking for, everything he was waiting for. In that moment, it didn't seem so complicated I wanted to confess what I'd known for years and never been able to vocalize. "Castle…I…" but the words weren't coming smoothly.

"Don't." he held up his hands, "I don't want you to say it until you're ready." There was no sign of disappointment in his face. He really meant it. He knew what I wanted to say and he knew that I couldn't quite yet.

It made me want to tell him everything even more, "Rick…"

But he wouldn't let me. Shaking his head with a soft smile, "Even if you feel it now I don't want it until you can say it easily. It'll come, I'm not worried."

Just because I couldn't say the words that I wanted to didn't mean that I couldn't show him. Standing up, pulling my shirt straight, "I want to try something." I told him stepping closer into his bubble, bringing my hands up to his shoulders. He froze unsure of what I was doing so I just stretched up and gently brushed a kiss over his lips. The reaction was instantaneous one of his arms wrapped around my waist and the other hand buried itself in my hair at the back of my neck as he pulled me closer deepening the kiss.

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><p>It was another quiet day at the precinct a few weeks later, again it was Castle-less, though this time he was meeting with his publisher. It wasn't long though before he collapsed into the chair next to my desk placing my usually cup of coffee at my elbow.<p>

"How'd it go?" I asked glad for a reason to lean back and talk to someone rather than continue filling out the paperwork in front of me.

"Good they had the same questions as you about the end." He shrugged taking a sip of his own coffee watching me for my reaction.

So I prompted him with a smile, "And what did they think?"

"They loved it." He grinned happily, "Said it wasn't very often that people gave up on the will they won't they aspect and just got them together for better or worse."

I smiled happy for him, "So is it the end of Nikki Heat?"

"That depends entirely on the inspiration for our dear Detective Heat." He told me leaning forward wiggling his eyebrows goofily.

Oh how so?"

"Well does anything have to change?" He asked.

I studied him for just a moment, "From the last few weeks?"

"Yes." He nodded just once.

I pondered my answer for just a second longer than necessary knowing that if I said no he would stop writing the novels if I really wanted him too. But that seemed unnecessary besides he really was useful. I smiled happily unable to contain myself, "I think we can keep going the way we've been going."

"Excellent," He smacked a hand down on the desk, "Detective Heat and Jameson Rook will live to fight crime another day. And they'll figure out how to do it married." He sounded so intrigued by the idea. Then he changed tracks, "What are you up to?" He leaned over my desk trying to read upside down.

"Paper work." I picked up my pen.

His brow wrinkled, "Well that doesn't sound like fun. Let's go get something to eat." His eyes sparkled childishly.

I smiled, closing the folder, "Let's go." The paper work wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

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><p><strong>Well what do you think? I bet you forgot like me he only got three more novels and if were following previous patterns season 4 equals the last nikki heat novel. There is so much potential there.<strong>

**Just a side note I'm working on an au story that I'm hopefully going to be posting soon. I'm rather nervous about it but it has potential so I'd appreciate it if you kept your eyes peeled for it.**

**Babyrose**


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